Sure, I’ve been told countless times by wistful relatives: ‘Make the most of your twenties’. But how about making something of your twenties? I suppose you could call me a super-grad; neither a fresh graduate, nor an established working professional. That’s the thing about being a twenty-something, there’s little pressure to get married, have children, choose a career and make something sensible of yourself anytime before hitting thirty. Your twenties are a period of settling for ‘now’. It’s the decade of growth and forgivable mistakes – taking jobs we don’t really want, dating people who definitely won’t make it to long-term, and blasé world exploration – or is it? Are our twenties for squandering and playing before we hit the big and ever responsible three-zero, or are they integral for shaping our future?

According to PhD Psychologist Meg Jay in her TED Talk ‘Why 30 is not the new 20’, twenty to thirty is not the lost decade, but instead the defining decade, and we should be embracing these crucial years to set us up for our 30s and indeed our future. As far as inspiration goes, Jay’s motivational talk might be just what you need to restructure a plan for your twenties and start your life in a more proactive way from now. Here’s a few highlights from her talk:

Engage with weak ties

Here in the UK we know far too well the difficulties of securing a half decent job in the economy over the past few years, let alone a job we’ve been dreaming of since we were bright-eyed, young-bops. Now is the time to branch a little further outside of your inner circle and draw on those friends of friends to link you to new openings and chances. Your nearest and dearest might be your go-to for most things, but Jay explains how people close and similar to you are likely to hold the same information as you do, so for better connections you better spread those wings.
I’ve never applied for a 9-5 in my life. Until recently, I thought I’d just been.. well, lucky? As it turns out, it’s that power of connection. There’s always been someone to help me tumble into something I’ve eventually grown to love and, funnily enough, those people who gave me a selfless helping hand have always been distant acquaintances, never close friends. So think LinkedIn, Facebook and other means to reach out and strengthen those weak ties. You never know where one connection could lead you. Mine took me to work in Singapore.

The brain has its second and final growth spurt in our 20s

If there’s something you want to try and change about yourself before you’re essentially hard-wired for the rest of your life, then time-is-a-ticking, young sprog. As for me, I have some nasty commitment issues, which make planning ahead of roughly 7 days a challenge. It drives human beings mad. I don’t just mean commitment to people either. The same goes for jobs, hobbies and possessions. I’m loyally committed for about 18 months, but planning an exit after 12, and then boredom sets in and I flee. One thing that helped me plan, manage change and commit was the challenge of trying something new and attempting to stick to it for 30 days. You might have seen it in the form of the ’30 day ab challenge’ or ’30 day squat challenge’, but I first found it in another Ted Talk. Although it’s less than 4 minutes of motivational magic, Matt Cutts has been keeping me and my commitment-phobic self in check for about 2 years.

Aim for what you want to obtain the long run

Jay explains that not only are the first 10 years of a career directly indicative of what you’re likely to learn in the future, but “more than half of Americans are married, or living with or dating their future partner by 30’. I’ve done some serious plodding in my time. I‘ve remained in relationships with no future, just because I’m a twenty-something and have time on my side. Sure, you might not end up married to that person, but you might end up with someone like them. Maybe it’s time we stop consciously viewing our twenties as a period of trial and error, and instead set our focus on these precious years to achieving what we want or setting ourselves up before 30.

You don’t want to leave life too late

By leaving everything until your very late twenties or early thirties, Jay explains that you might find yourself ‘realising, you can’t have that career you now want. It’s realising you can’t have that child you now want. Or you can’t give your child a sibling.’ Personally, I know too many 30 year olds that recall their 20s as one long period of fun and foolery, but feel they have little to show for it now. Look at some of the world’s greatest innovators, Steve Jobs or Bill Gates to name two, these are people who used their twenties for hard work, development, growth and eventually success, becoming some of the most famous Entrepreneurs of our lifetimes. Besides, if you believe Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hour theory to be true, then what better decade to use than the one we’re living right now.

The verdict? Well, Jay’s probably right. If, like me, you’ve been ambling along for a little longer than you’d like to be and are doing most of what you’re doing just ‘for now’, then have a listen to Meg Jay’s talk. Maybe it’ll make you think a little bit differently about now.